The One Where 'Friends' Finds Me at the Perfect Time
I finally started watching Friends, and "The One with George Stephanopoulos" hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve resisted Friends. Some of the people I am closest to and trust the most in this life would rave about how much they love it, and I would tell them I loved that for them, but the show wasn’t for me. I constantly compared it to New Girl, which wasn’t fair to Friends. New Girl is to me what Friends is to many, so the latter will never hold up to the former. When I wasn’t doing that, I compared it to other sitcoms that aired much later. Essentially, I was saying Friends was too dated in every way that counted for me to care about it. In fairness, there are more than reasonable criticisms that should continue to be in conversations about the show, even among the cast members.
Still, I avoided the show for a decade. In fairness, I was in a time of my life when I clung to pessimism as a comfort. I’ve since lived and learned to value different things in life. Now, I find (or try to find) comfort in the little things and even the cliche things, like an iced coffee on the first day of spring, quality time with the people I love, or a rom-com on a Sunday morning. That gradual shift (and this time of instability in entertainment journalism) helped me leap into creating this newsletter and healthier habits in my life. I would have never guessed that this pivot (Ross Geller pun intended!) would also lead me back to Friends.
Nevertheless, I have to believe there’s a reason why Friends Season 1 Episode 4, “The One with George Stephanopoulos,” found me during this era of my life.
The episode originally aired in 1994, but so much of what Rachel, Pheobe, and Monica experienced is timeless. I turned on this episode on a random Saturday night because I wanted something short and sweet to watch, but I found myself sitting in silence after it ended. I don’t have the financial connections that Rachel cut up, but I am in a similar phase of life. Except for me, it’s about seeing another person I knew from high school having a baby, getting married, or accepting a new job every time I open Facebook. (I really should use Facebook less.)
I’m thrilled for them! But I can’t help but wonder if I should be in the same place as them. Like Rachel, it’s hard not to compare where I’m at to where they are, especially when some of those old friends act the same way that Rachel’s friends do. It’s hard not to question if you’re taking the right steps when people you thought wanted the best for you start to plant doubt in what you believe is best.
I went through a big work change a few years ago, and it was a real challenge to see a way around it or through it. All I wanted was to back myself and pursue freelance writing full-time. I quickly learned how difficult freelance work is when I finally dedicated myself to it. Suddenly, my choice looked less like a plan. It didn’t even look like a “pla.” As I mentioned, it didn’t help that former friends posed similar questions that Joanne, Leslie, and Kiki did to Rachel.
“The One with George Stephanopoulos” took me back to that time. But, instead of harboring resentment, I was reminded of the people who helped me through it.
I had my versions of Monica and Phoebe, who spiraled with me when necessary and helped me stand back up afterward. They reminded me that I did what was best for me, even when it was different from what was expected. Like Rachel with Monica and Phoebe, having my friends in my corner assured me, “No matter what life throws at me, I’m going to be okay. I’ve got magic beans.”
Sure, my path was less solid and stable in nearly every way, but it fulfilled me in a way the other path never could. I invested in myself and my writing with the best people in the world beside me, cheering me on. Since then, I’ve branched out my writing to include TV news, editorials & reviews, interviews, book reviews, sports entertainment analysis, and this newsletter. I never could’ve imagined my career slowly evolving like this over the last decade if I didn’t have my magic beans.
I also never imagined that I would watch Friends, and it would make me feel at ease about something that usually only makes me feel frazzled.
Time is passing, whether I like it or not, and it’s disorienting to live life out of step with most of those girls after the pivotal years when we were all in sync — for better and worse — in high school. We’re not hitting the same milestones at the same time anymore. Those growing pains can be uncomfortable and weird, but Friends and my friends came along to assure me that it’ll all be okay. It’s certainly an odd realization to have on a random Saturday, but knowing that my timeline is the right one for me is a comforting and evergreen reminder. I have time.
💌 Shelby